


...probably?

by gaythoughts



Category: Silicon Valley (TV)
Genre: Dorks in Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-27
Updated: 2019-11-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:56:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21585730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaythoughts/pseuds/gaythoughts
Summary: "As he looked through his pictures and back on his life, he realised that, despite his harsh start, he had so much and he was so lucky. Yet, it was the thing he wanted more than anything but didn’t have that his mind always went to, which was unlike him."
Relationships: Jared Dunn/Richard Hendricks
Comments: 3
Kudos: 24





	...probably?

**Author's Note:**

> This came from a prompt that I got actual years ago. Takes place during Season 4 Episode 10.

Jared was dazed, he couldn’t believe the events of the past couple of days. He couldn’t believe he had managed to stay at Pied Piper so long (of course, he knew exactly why he had), he couldn’t believe that he had resigned, and he couldn’t believe that Richard basically just fired him. He didn’t want to think about Richard, but how could he not. Richard was at the center of everything, Jared had to think about him. The part that upset Jared was that he didn’t mind thinking about Richard constantly, he loved it, even after all Richard had dragged him through. 

Jared shook his head and started the car he’d been sitting in for a solid half-hour. He’d get over this. He would be okay, he always was. After his mom was gone, after he switched from house to house growing up, after the forced adoption; Jared always bounced back, he always triumphed in the end. That’s how he made it to Vassar, to Google, to Hooli. He made it this far, he could keep going.

When he arrived at his condo, he thought about how empty it would be. There wouldn’t be Erlich yelling (though the incubator had been Erlich-free for a while), there wouldn’t be Dinesh and Gilfoyle arguing, there wouldn’t be Jian-Yang playing with his fridge, and there wouldn’t be Richard. Jared sighed as he unlocked the door, then stepped inside and looked around. It looked free of squatters, so Jared headed back to his car to get the small amount for belongings he had had in the incubator.

It felt good to have his own space and his own things again. Of course, Jared wasn’t against sharing in any way, no, he loved it, but he also liked being able to relax and watch documentaries, which he could do now, as often as he pleased. Even though he valued his alone time, he decided he’d invite over some friends he hadn’t seen in a while to throw a re-housewarming party. He called up his friend Alana, as well as Claire, Emily, and Rachael, and invited them over for some dinner.

While he waited, he decided he’d unpack and hang his incubator wardrobe in his closet with the rest of his clothes that he’d left behind. He decided that most of the clothes that had been left in the house needed to be washed. He gathered up his shirts, sweaters, and vests and walked over to his personal washer and dryer and started a load. When he looked at the shelf above his washing machine, he saw a box. 

Jared immediately recognized it as the box in which he stored documents and old photos, He brought it down, sat on the floor, and removed the lid. He found the letter he wrote to his 40-year-old self when he started at Google, his first name badge from the Pelosi campaign, and his offer of employment form Hooli. Underneath all of the documents, he found a portrait of his mother, pictures with various foster families, and letters to and from people he’d met throughout his life.

He teared up as he sifted through memories and pictures. He found a copy of his Hooli resignation letter and his first Pied Piper contract and that was when he began quietly sobbing. As he looked through his pictures and back on his life, he realised that, despite his harsh start, he had so much and he was so lucky. Yet, it was the thing he wanted more than anything but didn’t have that his mind always went to, which was unlike him. Jared didn’t usually focus on his misfortunes and the negatives in his life, but it’s hard when you want something so much...and also when you just drove away from that thing forever.

When his friends began arriving, Jared was in tears on the floor.

“Jared, what happened? Are you alright?” worried his friend Alana.

“Do you need me to get you something or call someone?” offered Claire.

“No there isn’t anything anyone can do, I’ll be fine,” sighed Jared.

“But what’s the matter?” questioned Emily.

“I did something drastic and I regret it. I don’t regret doing what I did, but I regret the way I did it.”

Emily reached for Jared’s hand to pull him into a standing position.

“Hey,” she began, “It’s gonna be okay, this can be fixed.”

“I don’t know if it can, but thank you. Let’s forget about this and have a nice time. What do you all want for dinner?” polled Jared.

After some friendly arguments over the best delivery service and what to eat, the group decided on Indian and ordered from Curry Up Now on DoorDash.

Jared had a pleasant evening from then on, enjoying his tikka masala bowl with naan and a mango lassi. The girls decided it would be best to watch a movie so they pulled extra chairs around the television and convened on the couch. They all felt an unspoken pity for Jared and tried to make him feel happy and comfortable. Alana, who had met Jared when they had classes together at Vassar and lived on the same floor of their residence hall, recalled a movie night in college where they had watched “10 Things I Hate About You”, so she suggested they watch that. The others agreed excitedly.

Throughout the movie, they all kept an eye on Jared, checking to make sure he was okay. By the time Kat got mad at Patrick after finding out he was getting paid to date her, Jared was in tears again, looking up at the screen, then burrowing his face in his knees, which were tucked up next to his chest. Collectively the girls silently began freaking out and tried to figure out what was going on. As far as they knew, Jared had just resigned from a company, so WHY was he crying at a love story? 

“Jared?” Alana piped up, “Can you tell us what’s going on with you?”

“I just can’t believe I left.”

“Left your company?”

“No, no. Richard. I left Richard. He was the reason I left Hooli. I followed him, I left to be with him. And then I just walked away from him. Why did I do that?”

“Hey hey hey, calm down, this is a problem that can be solved. It’s never too late, and if this guy is worth it, he’ll be forgiving.”

And then, almost as if planned by the gods, there was a knock at the door.

“Who else is coming?” asked Claire.

“No one, just you guys.”

“Well then, you should get that.”

While Jared got up to get the door, the girls chatted amongst themselves.

Once Jared got to the door, he was beyond shocked to see Richard when he opened it. He looked sad and disappointed and apologetic all at once. Jared couldn’t help but think that Richard was here to make a proclamation to him but that seemed too far-fetched and unlikely. 

Richard stared at him for a long while, clearly fighting with himself before starting, “Jared, you were right. I fucked up. I ruined everything. I made some terrible choices and in the end, I ruined everything.” He was silent for a beat, and then he continued, “I just wanted to come and apologize to you and to tell you that I’m coming clean to Melcher. I’m sorry. I am so sorry for everything. I’m sorry for not listening to you. I literally started committing crimes when I stopped taking your advice. As it turns out, I can’t function without it. I’m sorry for not listening to your warnings about anything and everything. I’m sorry for freaking out at you and yelling at you. I’m really sorry for the way I’ve treated you, and not just recently. I’ve been awful and that just makes me mad at myself because I don’t think you’re awful at all. I’m just so sorry.”

Jared stared back at Richard, too stunned to react. Before he could respond, Richard started up again.

“And it’s not just that, Jared. It’s true the company is going to shit without you, but that’s not it. I am falling apart. I can’t handle anything. I don’t really think I ever realized all that you did for me outside of your job. So I guess I’m sorry that I took you for granted and I treated you so terribly. You’re the greatest employee and the greatest person I’ve ever met and I am the worst boss and the worst friend in the world. I didn’t even realize how lucky we were一how lucky I was to have you. I guess I never really realized what you meant to me and一I don’t know.”

Jared felt warm and fluttery inside, it was lovely, but Richard wasn’t done.

“I just… I understand why you left and I’m so sorry. I’m really sorry. If you really want to leave, I can like… fire you so you can get a severance package or something, I don’t know, you’re the one who knows how businesses work. I’ll leave you alone now. I’m gonna go end the company with the last of my grace and dignity. Have a good night, maybe I’ll see you around or whatever.”

With that, Richard slumped his shoulders and turned to walk away. 

“Richard,” Jared uttered softly, “Wait.”

Richard turned back around and for the first time, Jared noticed his tear-streaked eyes and how sad he looked. 

“Yeah?” Richard choked, struggling to hold back his tears.

“You had a great company before I joined and I’m sure this won’t be the end of Pied Piper. It can’t be. Your work is too good to be so short-lived. You’re too good for that.”

The corners of Richard’s mouth turned up a little as he gave a small smile through his tears.

“Richard, I’m sorry I left. I mean I’m sorry I left the way I did. It was all getting to be too much for me. But I never should’ve left as I did.”

“That was my fault though, Jared,” Richard interjected, “I shouldn’t have done what I did. I shouldn’t have led the company the way I ran it. I should’ve listened to you. You mean-”

Richard was cut off by the sound of female company from inside the condo. He looked surprised, then he looked back down at his feet. Jared couldn’t read his face.

“Oh. I’m sorry Jared, I didn’t know. I’ll go. I’ll send you an email about severance and all that shit. I-I’ll see you around.”

“Oh no, Richard, it’s nothing. I just have some people over for a re-housewarming party. You’re not intruding, you can come in if you want.”

“Nah,” Richard said, rubbing the back of his neck, “I better go, have fun though.”

“Who’s out there, Jared?” asked Emily as she and Claire approached the door.

“Oh, this is my...umm, friend...colleague….” Jared stuttered.

“I’m Richard,” he said shaking hands with Emily and Claire, “I was just about to go. Have a good night.”

Emily and Claire silently made eye contact before Claire said, “No! Stay! Come in! We actually just finished our movie. And we all have work in the morning, so, uhh, we have to skedaddle.”

Emily and Claire then jolted back into the living room and informed the rest of the guests what was happening.

Richard wasn’t ready for all of this. There were so many things he meant to say running around in his head but now that Jared was standing in front of him, now that they were about to be alone together, he didn’t know how to get the words out.

Jared gestured to come in and Richard followed him into the kitchen where the group of girls were all gathering all of their belongings to leave.

“Don’t leave because of me, please. I didn’t mean to gate-crash. I swear, I can just leave you all to your movie night. Just have a good time. I can go,” Richard mumbled, looking at his feet.

“NO!” three of the girls yelled in unison before realizing what they’d done and gone back to putting on their fleeces and jackets.

Richard was confused and momentarily taken aback by this reaction so he opted to take a seat at Jared’s counter and stare at his hands.

“It was great meeting you, Richard,” smiled Claire warmly.

“Yes,” Rachael added, “Sorry we all have to leave so soon, but we’d love to meet you again sometime. Maybe a dinner party?”

Jared raised his eyebrows at this and smiled, “I’ll be right back Richard, I’m just going to walk them out.”

“Take as long as you need,” Richard smiled softly before returning to his odd preoccupation with his hands on the counter.

“Bye, Richard!” Alana and Emily yelled over their shoulders as they disappeared behind a wall.

As the girls step through the front door of the condo, they turn around to say goodbye to Jared but also deliver their parting messages of encouragement.

“Go get him,” Alana smiled as she squeezed Jared’s hand.

“He’s a coworker, I can’t promise anything,” Jared sighed.

“Last time I checked, you’d quit,” Claire rebutted.

“Jared, you deserve to be happy and if this is a chance at that, please do not miss out on it,” Rachael said as she straightened his collar and brushed his shoulder.

Jared smiled down warmly at his friends.

“We’ll expect a full update in the group chat by noon tomorrow,” finished Emily.

Jared blushed but appreciated his friends for their commitment to his life, “Absolutely. I will tell you everything. Get home safe, now. Have a good night.”

With that, they walked away and Jared closed the door. He stood in the entry for a bit, unable to even predict what was about to happen. He felt so emotional and didn’t know how he’d ended up in this situation.

He walked back into the condo to find Richard sitting on the floor next to his box of memories and its contents which he’d left splayed across the floor earlier.

“Oh my, I really should’ve picked those up earlier,” Jared said getting down on the ground to gather everything.

“I’m sorry, Jared, I didn’t mean to snoop,” Richard said from under his hood. When he turned to face Jared, his eyes were red and puffy. Jared looked at what was in his hands and saw his Hooli resignation letter in one and a photo snapped of the two of them at TechCrunch Disrupt all of those years ago.

“Why did you come, Richard?”

“I’m just so sorry, Jared. I know I’ve said it a lot in the past ten minutes but you need to understand that I mean it. That I-that I’m sincere. I know I treated you worse than Julia Roberts in ‘Sleeping with the Enemy’, I know that I’ve been a bad boss, a bad friend, a bad-I don’t know I’ve been bad. I’ve done so many things wrong. But I think about you and I just want to make things right. I don’t know what I’d do without you and all the sacrifices you’ve made for the company. For me,” Richard waves the resignation letter as he ends his sentence. He’s not remotely hiding his tears.

At the sight of them, Jared begins to cry too.

“No, Jared, please don’t cry. Please don’t cry. I know that I’ve fucked up thousands of times and I really can’t promise that I won’t fuck up again but-” Richard exhales, he doesn’t know where he was going with that, “I just don’t ever want you to think that anything is your fault, that you’ve ever done anything wrong. Your whole life,” he gestures to his memory box, “No one can blame you for anything. I just don’t want to lose you. I promise not to commit more crimes or anything. You’ve made my life immeasurably better,” this time he lifts the photo of them at TechCrunch.

“I-just...you...you’re...I don’t know...I just,” Richard stammers and struggles, but Jared doesn’t dare to interrupt.

“You’re perfect, I think,” Richard finally gets out, “And I think...I probably...I can’t tell...but I love you too? I think that’s what I feel. Not that I can tell. I’ve never been good at knowing my own emotions. I just don’t know what they all mean. I can’t read th-” finally, Jared puts an end to Richard’s suffering and leans toward him and presses his lips against Richards’s.

Richard’s eyes widen and he smiles and ruins the kiss. Jared isn’t upset, he finds it endearing. 

“I probably love you too, Richard.”

Richard wipes tears from his own eyes with the sleeves of his hoodie before staring at Jared with a gaze that he didn’t think he’d ever used before.

Jared stared back at him too and they stay like that for a while. Sitting on the floor of Jared’s condo hallway just staring at each other and probably being in love.


End file.
